"The world bursts at the seams with people ready to tell you you're not good enough. On occasion some may be correct. But do not so their work for them. Seek any job; ask anyone out; pursue any goal. Don't take it personally when they say "no" - they may not be smart enough to say "yes"."
- Keith Olbermann
I presented my "THIS FACE WILL SAVE THE WORLD" in class today. Classmates liked it, or so the ones who spoke up did. But not my professor. He had something else in mind. I produced different results . He's not listening to my intent, nor seeing it. Or I didn't give a clear, sound mssg to him. Overall, one big fiasco; well on my part, it's an even bigger fiasco because he, the professor, is grading my work, the work which he is clearly confused about.
What I got from him:
he hates:
-my use of the powerpoint program - idk why he's hating, he doesnt need to be mad, i could use a movie maker program in a cinch, but never windows movie maker.
-my idea? - im confused if he hates my idea bahaha
-my selected images - i guess they're not good enough?
-my photo-shop images? - eh, i tried my best at this prgm
-my staged photographs - that's the point
-my choice of words - welp, i realize that umm im not skilled in speaking clearly about my ideas, so for that, i aint gonna apologize for my flaws. just deal with it. bahaha
-
my turn:
i hate:
-his put downs, he never really give any good advice or suggestions, so he's not really any use for me, so why the fuck should i be paying any attention to him
-at least i didnt get burned badly at the altar; he should pay more attention to his life than to my project, then maybe, just maybe, he'll get hitched one day. god bless whoever it may be.
-he didnt really teach me shit, except bring up info about 'gaming studies' and even then, most of them are fucken useless.
-him putting me on the spot: HE DO NOT LISTEN TO ME. so stupid. he asked. i answered (but i guess not in the way he wants it). he told me he's confused. my classmate reiterated my response and defended my position. then he told her he got it but just didnt hear that from me. MAJOR WTF.
-he thinks i did my work overnight. im not saying my project is perfect, but dang, he jumps right into conclusion.
perhaps his idea of jane mcgonigal's ideas differ from mines, but that does not give him any rights to put my idea down.
----
im mad at myself more because im letting his words walked all over me. i cant stop it; i cant help it. it's a sick cycle. i would love to forget about it, but it's easier said than done. plus, what i hate most is that he's grading my work, and obviously, he doesnt like it. i think its my turn to tell him that im confused of his confusion about my work. too much, too much.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
sarah baartman
Who is Sarah Baartman? Give a brief description and relate some aspect of
her life (or her contexts/situation) to something discussed either in
class or in the reading that interests you.
Sarah Baartman, also known as Saarjtie Baartman, was a South African woman who was given the title, "The Hottentot Venus" and was exhibited in Europe between 1810 to 1815. She was chosen to be exhibited due to her unusually large buttocks, and the European scientists reasoned it was a sign of her 'excessive sexuality.' After Baartman's death, French scientist Georges Cuvier anatomically removed her genitals and is currently preserved to this very day in Paris' Museum of Man. In "David's Story", the character David named her one of the "queens of Steatopygia" (p. 16) and discussed the historical figure in details with his amanuensis that Baartman had to endure being caged with leopard skins in London and was ridiculed by the Europeans because of her unique bodily structure. His storytelling was an attempt to evoke sympathy for the exhibited woman because he said, "Baartman belongs to all of us."
In "History After Apartheid", Annie Coombes stated that the exhibited figure was an "iconic symbol of dispossession of Khoisan peoples" (p. 240) and the Griqua and Khoisan groups want to bring back what was once theirs; they want Baartman's remains to return to their homeland. Martin Engelbrecht, a researcher for the Khoisan Representative Council said, "We want to know about the study of our skeleton. We need to benefit from knowledge" (p. 241). As an outsider, I think it is more than justified that the parts of Baartman should return to South Africa because she is after all in living spirits of the country. I am not sure if there was a written agreement between Cuvier and Baartman about her bodily dissection, but I doubt that she wanted her remains to be publicly exposed at such an institution. Even other people besides South Africans wants Baartman to return by rallying through the use of international publicized campaigning efforts such as Zola Maseko's film titled "The Life and Times of Sara Baartman", the World Archaeological Congress conference held in Cape Town, and Spain's "El Negro" organized efforts. However, Paris' denial of her return and keeping of her remains shows us that they still want to hold onto any power whatsoever, and does not at all respect the wish of Baartman's people.
her life (or her contexts/situation) to something discussed either in
class or in the reading that interests you.
Sarah Baartman, also known as Saarjtie Baartman, was a South African woman who was given the title, "The Hottentot Venus" and was exhibited in Europe between 1810 to 1815. She was chosen to be exhibited due to her unusually large buttocks, and the European scientists reasoned it was a sign of her 'excessive sexuality.' After Baartman's death, French scientist Georges Cuvier anatomically removed her genitals and is currently preserved to this very day in Paris' Museum of Man. In "David's Story", the character David named her one of the "queens of Steatopygia" (p. 16) and discussed the historical figure in details with his amanuensis that Baartman had to endure being caged with leopard skins in London and was ridiculed by the Europeans because of her unique bodily structure. His storytelling was an attempt to evoke sympathy for the exhibited woman because he said, "Baartman belongs to all of us."
In "History After Apartheid", Annie Coombes stated that the exhibited figure was an "iconic symbol of dispossession of Khoisan peoples" (p. 240) and the Griqua and Khoisan groups want to bring back what was once theirs; they want Baartman's remains to return to their homeland. Martin Engelbrecht, a researcher for the Khoisan Representative Council said, "We want to know about the study of our skeleton. We need to benefit from knowledge" (p. 241). As an outsider, I think it is more than justified that the parts of Baartman should return to South Africa because she is after all in living spirits of the country. I am not sure if there was a written agreement between Cuvier and Baartman about her bodily dissection, but I doubt that she wanted her remains to be publicly exposed at such an institution. Even other people besides South Africans wants Baartman to return by rallying through the use of international publicized campaigning efforts such as Zola Maseko's film titled "The Life and Times of Sara Baartman", the World Archaeological Congress conference held in Cape Town, and Spain's "El Negro" organized efforts. However, Paris' denial of her return and keeping of her remains shows us that they still want to hold onto any power whatsoever, and does not at all respect the wish of Baartman's people.
Friday, December 17, 2010
so i've been complaining a lot a lot a lot
hello and good morning. according to my horoscope, 7-9 am are my power time. and it's 7:17 am as of now.
im currently halfway through eat pray love. juliet roberts is the woman to watch. in the movie, she narrated, be prepare for the waves of transformation. something along that line. and that statement i must reflect upon or else i might break myself in the end. i need to really let go. i really want to! let go of this hold i have on nothing and completely free my mind.
so here, im gonna write a rough draft letter to my mother:
dear mama,
can you believe it? what has become of us. i think about it every night before i head into deep sleep. it's a real nightmare that slowly fades away yet occurs when the day gets colder, and the sky darkens, and the streets quiet down. i feel like my life force has evaporated into thin air each passing day with you not by my side; it's been almost 6 months having this awful feeling.
i know you're in pain mama, but i couldn't and wouldn't fathom what you're actually going through. i too am in pain. im in a constant battle with myself and the world. this is hard for me to say outloud, but i want you to know that my love for you will never die and i am not giving up on you. the funny thing is that, i realized now that i gave up on myself a while back.
i need to wake up out of my slum and start living before i kill myself over this. what im doing is not good for the both of us, and im sorry. fear has really brought me to my knees. i need to learn how to stand again, on my own this time, and with your resounding advices and help from our love ones, i will walk again. i know you didnt raise me to be in my current position so im going to make you proud so that one day, you can be besides me.
im currently halfway through eat pray love. juliet roberts is the woman to watch. in the movie, she narrated, be prepare for the waves of transformation. something along that line. and that statement i must reflect upon or else i might break myself in the end. i need to really let go. i really want to! let go of this hold i have on nothing and completely free my mind.
so here, im gonna write a rough draft letter to my mother:
dear mama,
can you believe it? what has become of us. i think about it every night before i head into deep sleep. it's a real nightmare that slowly fades away yet occurs when the day gets colder, and the sky darkens, and the streets quiet down. i feel like my life force has evaporated into thin air each passing day with you not by my side; it's been almost 6 months having this awful feeling.
i know you're in pain mama, but i couldn't and wouldn't fathom what you're actually going through. i too am in pain. im in a constant battle with myself and the world. this is hard for me to say outloud, but i want you to know that my love for you will never die and i am not giving up on you. the funny thing is that, i realized now that i gave up on myself a while back.
i need to wake up out of my slum and start living before i kill myself over this. what im doing is not good for the both of us, and im sorry. fear has really brought me to my knees. i need to learn how to stand again, on my own this time, and with your resounding advices and help from our love ones, i will walk again. i know you didnt raise me to be in my current position so im going to make you proud so that one day, you can be besides me.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
twenty two
i am 22 today. i am eternally grateful to have such a great mother, i wished i would have known that from the start and expressed it more outwardly to her. i hope i can one day do the same.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
hello
i think i want to start a new blog or whatever cuz whenever i come back here, it's a place i dont want to come back to. it's full of senseless frustration and i want to be apart from it. it's a constant reminder of who i became this past summer and i dont want to be that person anymore.
i want to start fresh. i want to be a happier person despite what happened to me and my family. i took advantage of my humdrum steady life, so now im grateful of what i had and have right now. i hear people say that my mother has it tough right now because they know that she is fully conscious of what all has happened to her, and they pity her, saying that it would be better if she did not know anything at all.
well, i'm selfish. i want her to know everything that had and has happened to her, bad and good, even though the majority is bad. i know ignorance is blissful, but for this situation, i dont know how i should feel. i want the best for my mother, so i'll take down whatever road is best for her. i just hope i don't lose my sanity along the way.
i want to start fresh. i want to be a happier person despite what happened to me and my family. i took advantage of my humdrum steady life, so now im grateful of what i had and have right now. i hear people say that my mother has it tough right now because they know that she is fully conscious of what all has happened to her, and they pity her, saying that it would be better if she did not know anything at all.
well, i'm selfish. i want her to know everything that had and has happened to her, bad and good, even though the majority is bad. i know ignorance is blissful, but for this situation, i dont know how i should feel. i want the best for my mother, so i'll take down whatever road is best for her. i just hope i don't lose my sanity along the way.
Friday, October 22, 2010
money money money
financial issues suck ass when you're broke ass poor
my broho and i have talked about our future and current situation and i feel more at ease even if nothing is really paid up yet.
property tax bills --- major wtf.
car insurance --- another wtf.
home insurance --- really?
utilities --- f me.
food --- will do =]
it's time to do business.
my broho and i have talked about our future and current situation and i feel more at ease even if nothing is really paid up yet.
property tax bills --- major wtf.
car insurance --- another wtf.
home insurance --- really?
utilities --- f me.
food --- will do =]
it's time to do business.
Monday, October 18, 2010
this is my new outlet =]
ONE MORE THING BEFORE I STFU,
a person i know told me that he understands what im going through... i dont want to reveal too much of his info but his sister is handicapped ever since she was born?.
first of all, i feel for him. must suck.
second of all, he dealt with this his whole life. i on the other hand am dealing with my mother's condition NOW!
third, now dont get me wrong, but his sis is handicapped, NOT ONE OF HIS PARENTS, who is responsible for the bill payments of the house, the utilities, the food, and etc. MY MOTHER WAS THE FUCKEN BREADWINNER OF MY FUCKEN HOUSEhold so
so once again, when he said he understands what im going through, no fucken way. his sister and my mother both played different roles in the family structure. how could he possibly understand? maybe he feels frustrated with his sister from time to time? well i dont feel the same towards my mother.
it's funny to think of myself as heart broken, not over a dickhead, but over my mother. i mean, that's some serious heart-aching. i dont think i can really get over this. this is my mother for god's sake, not some person i had a thing or two with and can be tossed over at some point.
done and so done.
a person i know told me that he understands what im going through... i dont want to reveal too much of his info but his sister is handicapped ever since she was born?.
first of all, i feel for him. must suck.
second of all, he dealt with this his whole life. i on the other hand am dealing with my mother's condition NOW!
third, now dont get me wrong, but his sis is handicapped, NOT ONE OF HIS PARENTS, who is responsible for the bill payments of the house, the utilities, the food, and etc. MY MOTHER WAS THE FUCKEN BREADWINNER OF MY FUCKEN HOUSEhold so
so once again, when he said he understands what im going through, no fucken way. his sister and my mother both played different roles in the family structure. how could he possibly understand? maybe he feels frustrated with his sister from time to time? well i dont feel the same towards my mother.
it's funny to think of myself as heart broken, not over a dickhead, but over my mother. i mean, that's some serious heart-aching. i dont think i can really get over this. this is my mother for god's sake, not some person i had a thing or two with and can be tossed over at some point.
done and so done.
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