alright, so i love the house. i love the location of the house that i am living in. i love the bus system of the city im living in because it stops near the city's park and library. i love how convenient it is that i can walk through college to get to the shopping arena. i love how close i live to downtown l.a. i love that i live near the semi-ghetto. i love the house. i just hate the squabbling people living in it.
my plans of getting my own place once im done with school is ruined. completely ruined.
my parents might actually go through with the divorce. both decided to sell the house off and split it from there. which leaves me and my brother with NADA. zip. penniless. nothing. my mom tells us that we can choose who to live with once they split; the thing is, i do not want to live with any of them. it makes no sense, no matter what, i am still going to be fucking poor. so why not be poor by myself.
so where i am getting at is that im forced to live with one of the numskulls and THAT I AM SOOO FUCKED. there goes my plan, my future to live out on my own and live my own life.
and i got to thinking, what the fuck, my brother and i have nooooo fucking say in this whole piece of bullshit. i wish i can say i hope they fuck themselves over and out, but them fucking each other's mind is going to fuck my and my brother's future.
so once again, im screwed. period.
sorry pedro. idk about the living out in n.y. shiz. ive got to make a living fast so i do not end up like them. i hope things work out for me.
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Thursday, March 27, 2008
old and pathetic
went to my old high school and i feel very old amongst the young athletes.
i saw some nice-looking, familiar faces, i had lots of laughs, my hair was flying all over the place, my bra strap was very loose, i like playing with ashley's ribbons, it was very nice.
and i stopped feeling that good ol nice feeling when i entered my home, the atmosphere is soo damn cold, literally and figuratively. i always knew my parent's marriage was not built on trust, but on chinese traditions. on some days, they could get along just fine, but on those days, those terrible days, things get very ugly and i just cannot listen to them bicker, especially my father. he'll spit out all kinds of ugly things to say. they overused the word divorce, and i always wonder why they bother to threaten each other. i just wish things were different.
no worries, i'll move out. i'll never have to see that house ever again. im not saying i hate that house, its just that the house brings back painful memories. there are some good memories, but the bad ones are so vivid in my mind that the good ones just got blurred.
i saw some nice-looking, familiar faces, i had lots of laughs, my hair was flying all over the place, my bra strap was very loose, i like playing with ashley's ribbons, it was very nice.
and i stopped feeling that good ol nice feeling when i entered my home, the atmosphere is soo damn cold, literally and figuratively. i always knew my parent's marriage was not built on trust, but on chinese traditions. on some days, they could get along just fine, but on those days, those terrible days, things get very ugly and i just cannot listen to them bicker, especially my father. he'll spit out all kinds of ugly things to say. they overused the word divorce, and i always wonder why they bother to threaten each other. i just wish things were different.
no worries, i'll move out. i'll never have to see that house ever again. im not saying i hate that house, its just that the house brings back painful memories. there are some good memories, but the bad ones are so vivid in my mind that the good ones just got blurred.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
spring break
today is wednesday.
i only have a few more glorious days to spend a day in the sun and be worry free from academics, yet, it always in the back of my mind.
im thinking whether i should take 22 units instead of 19, wondering if my professor for general chem B is going to be a cool dude or not. my winter grades will come out very soon and im anxious to see it. I think i did okay, as in barely passing my required classes, but at the same time, well, you know. i already have my summer classes all plan out. so if i messed up winter quarter, my whole academic plan is going to fall apart. there is no room for mistake in my part. I have very high goals and I will meet them. I hope that I am able to double major and maybe a minor. Another thing, I really want to go to hawaii this summer. Supposedly i only have one week of actual summer break if i do plan on taking two summer sessions.
so yeah, that's my goal for now, that's what im thinking now.
lately, ive been watching little mermaid with my little cousin, trying to familiarized her with american culture. last night she read the three billy goat gruff. on her practice state exam, there was a question that asked concerning the read passage, how it relates to the other american classic stories, such as red riding hood and goldilocks and the three bears, yet my cousin did not know any of the stories. the state expects the california students to have read and know the stories which i find pretty disdainful. anywho, im going to try my best to help her become familiar with america, but i will not change who she is and her roots.
i think the fun part of spring break is going to start manana where i actually get to see a buck load of my wonderful friends and just hang out and watch the noobies race each other. funstuff.
i only have a few more glorious days to spend a day in the sun and be worry free from academics, yet, it always in the back of my mind.
im thinking whether i should take 22 units instead of 19, wondering if my professor for general chem B is going to be a cool dude or not. my winter grades will come out very soon and im anxious to see it. I think i did okay, as in barely passing my required classes, but at the same time, well, you know. i already have my summer classes all plan out. so if i messed up winter quarter, my whole academic plan is going to fall apart. there is no room for mistake in my part. I have very high goals and I will meet them. I hope that I am able to double major and maybe a minor. Another thing, I really want to go to hawaii this summer. Supposedly i only have one week of actual summer break if i do plan on taking two summer sessions.
so yeah, that's my goal for now, that's what im thinking now.
lately, ive been watching little mermaid with my little cousin, trying to familiarized her with american culture. last night she read the three billy goat gruff. on her practice state exam, there was a question that asked concerning the read passage, how it relates to the other american classic stories, such as red riding hood and goldilocks and the three bears, yet my cousin did not know any of the stories. the state expects the california students to have read and know the stories which i find pretty disdainful. anywho, im going to try my best to help her become familiar with america, but i will not change who she is and her roots.
i think the fun part of spring break is going to start manana where i actually get to see a buck load of my wonderful friends and just hang out and watch the noobies race each other. funstuff.
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