Dear Wendy

i need a bed and a table/desk for my new apt.
i moved some of my stuff to the apt today and found out that melchan had already set up her nice bed.
i read mechan's fb note and she said that she's super excited in decorating the place and that she's gonna invite ppl over for dinner parties. so jerome and i are planning to quietly invite ourselves and eat the appetizing chip and dip.

i wanna eat some ice cream later on today. when you and johana do sleep-over, come-over, whatever-over to Irvine, I MUST TAKE YOU GUYS TO Strickland's ice cream shoppe. its delish my fiend. trust.

well, i am feeling much better now; i still have some loogey, but its all good.

i went to the farmer's market in irvine today and it was fuuun. free samples of fruits and all. im planning to eat more healthier - like cutting down on eating the refine/junk/fast food and eating more green food. since the farmer's market is located near my new apt, i'll be sure to visit the market every saturday morning and buy organic good food. i felt like an alien at the fmarket b/c there's so many white ppl there. and white sellers too. Back home, I'll sometimes go to the fmarket in Alhambra and well you know, mainly Chinese people there. and hispanics too. hehe.
i bought frozen tamales at the fmarket. its okay.

anywho im still uberly excited for the new room annnd now i must open the books and start studying.
see you soon

p.s. i called my parents last night and they sound as if they were cool with each other. but i need to see it with my own eyes. i must admit, me crying over my parent's argument is very scary to me, before i refused to let it affect me, but i guess now, i am trying to open up my vulnerable side because I have been guarding myself way too long. i'll be okay. trust.

i am just tired today

I have a stomach ache. I think I am pretty much sensitive to mostly everything. I get carsick, airsick, seasick, you name it, I might have or will get it. Lately, when I eat out at restaurants I have never been before, I get a stomach because I am not used to the food’s flavor, which made me think about my traveling plans. If I am unable to stomach food here, how can I possibly do it out there? So I feel a bit down for not being able to be spontaneous because I worry about my health; so I guess this means I am sort of a planner, no more spur of the moment shit. Gosh how I miss those days. Maybe I thought I was one of the people who can spontaneously do whatever the shit they want, but I have been trained to plan and do the stuff I plan. Lately, I have been lagging on the do-ing part. Don’t get me wrong, I am a fun person, but I do need a lot of down time for me to refuel. Sometimes I feel like going out, but I really want to just stay in and stay in my little niche. I am not me two or three years ago, where I was free-spirited and self-unconscious.

So today I went out with my fabulous friends to watch sex and the city. Great, yet very long movie. I was not accustomed to the timing since I am so used to watching 30 minutes clips of the television show. Near the end of the movie, my mom called me and I rejected it (of course) and I burst out crying. Her call reminded me of what I was trying to ignore in the past two weeks – my parent’s soon to be divorced. I knew it was going to happen sooner or later, but I did not know that it really pierce my heart, its heart-wrenching. I’ll just have to keep telling myself its worth it in the long run. I will not have to hear them fuss about each other, to each other. I guess I cried because I know timing for me right now just sucks. I have finals very soon. I will not get any dibs in my future living arrangement ( I want out). And I still have a stomach ache.

I am seriously tired of having this cold war with her. Fuck contract. If I really cannot stand them, then im going to move out and wish them the best of luck. I do not want to live with them at this moment. I felt so screwed, so lost, that I just needed one thing to hang on to, to have one thing go my way. Like I said, I am just tired. I do not want to willingly give in. We’ll see.

Its almost twelve. And I haven’t started on my paper.