im just sad

i need a lot of down time
so i took a nap
and now im aite
still a little down, but whatevers.
my friend, who i looked up to and respect, made a decision to leave my apt. because my current fellow roomies felt this and that.
piece of shit.
of course i wanted her to stay, i insisted, but i knew she left because it was the best for everyone. i guess im selfish that i wanted her to stay because she was my very good friend and that I will not be seeing her so often since she already graduated from college. I just wanted to hold on to her before she leaves for good. plus she was the person who made living here more enjoyable and livable.

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i hate meetings. apt. meetings.
i told my friend about it, but she grabbed all of her stuff and left. ahaha. so typical of her.
and so one of my roomie was like blah blah blah be honest and open, blah blah.
and i was just eating my quiznos sandwich, and TRYING very hard to not cuss out on her.
i just smiled a little bit and didn't really interact. i dont really care anymore.
one down, eleven months to go.

im crazy tired

i think im becoming more delirious as i continue to paint in my apt all day and all night today. very sad indeed. i hear faint fireworks. more sad. i notice that i sweat a lot when i paint, especially near my butt area. i hate it.
i went to smell melissa's coffee beans just so my olfactory senses are balanced and actually, it helped. i havent been eating a lot today since ive been freaking painting. ITS SO DAMN TEDIOUs. i have to get it done before i go back home manana, as i planned.
i freaken planned out earlier today late evening that i would arrive back home but i could not because i was still very behind on my project. now im just halfway. im planning to stay up till 2 am? maybe.