sometimes i feel like my thoughts are clouded
[update] frazzle is fickle.
alright
so im set on having two majors and one minor. i already planned out my class schedules for the next four years. I plan on having one summer off to study abroad. wanna join in, wenditz? this means i will graduate in spring 2011.
but i have not figured out my career choice.
i always have this image that I will be working amongst the great outdoor, in the sequoia park. but then i will miss the city life, well, actually, i will miss my small city and the Chinese food. and then i think about my parents and my family and how much of the family gatherings i will miss.
i remember a few years back in high school, i used to think that i will only go to college for me and find a job for me so i can be happy for me. but now, i am deeply confused, i feel being tugged a little to the idea of me working in a stuffy office for some lame company or business (which is my mother's goal in life for me. Ha). note: i am currently working in a stuffy office.
you see, my mom immigrated here so her children can get into a fine institution, and get a high paying job. my mom left her whole family behind to go to the United States with my dad and his side of the family. i could not think of another scenario to feel completely alone and lost. my mom sacrificed a lot for me and my brother and i fully thank her for giving me life. so return, i feel that the least i can do is live to her expectation. however, recently, my mother told me to do what i find enjoyable and the rest is history (that is what i love about her, her understanding my struggle and her becoming aware of the American culture).
so i am my mom's American dream and i choose to not let her down.
clarity. i like that word. i think i just had a moment of clarity. my mom feels a tad worry since i really do not know what to do in life. but that is the beauty of it; i am unsettled, i can go many ways, i can
2 comments:
kip, i love your blog. you have a lot of wisdom to share.
your apartment conflict is sucky. tlel them to pay for you and then you can cook for them. of course, they have to buy the raw material. hahaha
i know what you mean. i have a dream of working with monkeys. but then i find not many people will appreciate what i do, which really sucks. but on the other hand, i really want to work in teh big city and live in a big city. thatd be so much fun! BUT who says we can't do everything we want--ms luu does. shes a "PaRT TIME" teacher--thAT is admirable.
as for living up to your mom's dreams, i know thats a lot of pressure. but i would really want to encourage you to be doing all this college stuff for you. thats my goal--living for myself and nobody else. of course i lvoe my mom and i want to live up to her expectations, but i cant imagine how i would react to getting stuck in something i dont like. and imagine being stuck in an office job. what if you get stuck in an elevator for 41 hours!!
when are you studying abroad? and maybe if we do get a chance to work in teh wild, we can blog. you about your trees and me about my primates :o)
if you wawnt to sing out sing out
and if you wnat to be free be free
cuz theres a million ways to be
you know that there are
hahaha
if tryiing to ahcieve every one of your dreams means delaying settling down for a family, i think i would be willing to hold off on love. so i can be a public health official, social worker, journalist, artist, primatologist.
whatchu think?
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