its difficult to breathe when you're scared

its like im taking many mini, hard, small breathes, its like i kinda i forgot how to breathe. maybe it's because all of the house windows are shut closed to prevent the heat from coming in.

my mom went to an acquaintance's wedding yesterday and she got all glam-ed up.
today, when she returned from work, she told me that my dad did a minor damage to her car; it seems as if there is a thin, shallow cut or mark across the surface on one of the car's door, probably done by a sharp instrument, like a car key.
perhaps he saw her yesterday night getting into her car- he lives in the front house and he usually peers outside his window, which i dislike. perhaps he did his bad deed before my mom went to work the next day. there is no proof, just her gut feelings. i can't help but wonder if her claims are true.
that is why im scared, because her statement might be true. after my mother told me about the incident, i thought about the most scariest harm he can do to her, or vice versa. I'm worried of what might happened if my mom ever does give him the divorce document - im scared for her and our lives.
I hate that I have to think in this survival mode, but I can't help it. I'm paranoid, for the right reasons; i'm upset, due to my assumptions about my father's behavior.

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However, I do not doubt my assumption so much. I know my dad has erratic behaviors. One day he's silly and laughable, the next, he's in his little world, talking to himself in an enraged manner, as if he's talking to another who upset him, in front of me and my brother. He has done some rude gestures toward others, purposely. And he's selfish, whether he knows it or not.

I wanted to put this out there, just in case.