tired.

i've been running back and forth this whole week.
im sad, and stressed.
the skin around my fingers are peeling away
i forget that school is still in session

im annoyed when ppl assumes my mom is out of the hospital
hello???? she just had neurosurgery, surgical procedure involving the brain area, the central focus of the body??? does anybody make that fucken connection??

so i made up my mind, im not going to summer school. i think i'll work 3 days out of the week during summer time

im grateful to my cousin and my aunts and uncles who visits my mother, that means a lot to me, even though i don't say it out loud.

in the meantime, my mind is wrapped all over my mom's case. so i dont really give a fuck about anybody or anything else's problems. sounds selfish, but i say it like it is, i dont have any ounce of energy for anyone/-thing else.

brain flooded's brainstormings

need to call uncle ben to help me care for momma

uci or nearby college?
uci - can work, long drive, see uci fiends, not sure about housing
nearby college - SUPER CLOSE
but i need to make some money man, so uci it is i suppose

need to make barry work too since momma is gonna be out for a while

sooo should i still pay for rent at uci? my stuff is still there. i have lots of shit. move it all back home??? need to borrow uncle's truck? worse comes to worse, ask dad. don't want to. possibly leave mattress at uci since im moving into cornell soon
am i even gonna stay at uci housing for a little bit? is it worth it?
how long will it take for my momma to recover?

hmm or maybe go to elac july 6 - aug 7th--- iono if possible, didnt complete requisites
go to work in the meantime earn cash so can pay off utilities and food money
wow
this is grown up stuff

barry has summer school, he's gonna be busy man
MEE TOO!!
iono if he can handle school, work, volunteer, and caring for momma

must prioritize
we can do it
we can handle it
nothing but a thang to do do bedobedoo

okay so i'll weigh out my pros and cons later

first, must see when momma is good to go out of the hospital.

wish i had a frd to help me and sort this out with me

----
aunt spoke with me earlier, and i could hear her worrisome voice, and i dont blame her, i cant make a decent herbal drink
need uncle ben's and scott's help.