irrational

i have an anger issue. big one. if i get upset, even just a little, i go full out, as if you havent notice. and the scary part is that i really can't control it until i resolve it on my own terms, and it's mostly irrational. but hey, it calms me the fuck down. im not trying to excuse myself; im telling you how it's done lately.

have you ever been extremely upset that you don't care if you sound stupid or not, because the small dilemma you were dealing with suddenly became this big one because you made it as one and someone else tells you to chill and that your blowing out of proportion, well i HATE hate hate that person for telling me so BECAUSE I ALREADY KNOW IT'S DUMB AND I DONT NEED THE PERSON TO REITERATE MY THOUGHTS AND MAKE Me feel inferior. all i want to do is fucken rant, which im doing so perfectly well here, and if i want an advice or a put down, then i'd ask, but in the meantime, stfum.

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i wish there was someone out there that is going through the same friggin ordeal im going through, so i can check myself if im too hard or too lenient on myself. i really wish there was a self guide book for this matter. we've all been taught how to find answers and for this situation, there's really no definite answer which makes me maad.

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learning chinese characters makes me tiiiiired.